


no compasses, no signs

by meclanitea



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Soulmates AU, implied asahi, kou vs gou bc nagisa, mentioned makoharu and sourin, one-sided Kisumi/Gou as kids, open-ended but happy ending, they like kpop, wingman rei ryugazaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meclanitea/pseuds/meclanitea
Summary: It starts like this:He’s the nicest boy Gou’s ever met. And that’s why, when Gou puts together all the signs that she has a crush and doesn’t see a string connected to her finger, she is utterly devastated.--Ever since learning her first love wasn’t her soulmate, Gou never made any attempts to find love again. But what if love was right under her nose?
Relationships: Hazuki Nagisa/Matsuoka Gou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	no compasses, no signs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cheerbits](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheerbits/gifts).



> For chees! Hello my fellow rarepair shipper, glad you're letting me add to the tag <3
> 
> note: Gou refers to herself as ‘Kou’ so I was debating whether I should have used ‘Kou’ instead but I personally got confused so;;;
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy!

It is on a seemingly ordinary summer day at the tender age of eleven that Gou is made to recount one of the most embarrassing moments in her life.

She’s eating her favorite pocky by the poolside benches, waiting for her brother to finish up racing that Nanase kid, and idly swinging her legs that don’t reach the floor. Rin lifts himself from the pool seconds after the soft-spoken Tachibana pulls out his childhood friend out of the water. Dripping wet, Rin wastes no time and marches over to his sullen classmate, demanding for a rematch. Gou can’t help but huff a laugh with how stubbornly  _ Rin _ he’s being. It’s then that a bubbly figure approaches her.

Nagisa Hazuki, with his wide grins and lively spirit, looks innocent at first glance. Gou, however, after Rin has had the past few weeks to settle in Iwatobi, knows better by now. In the little time they’ve known each other, Nagisa has managed to figure out just how to get a reaction out of her even when he’s not trying to tease her (or so he says). Despite this, his genuine eagerness and curiosity in everything  _ is _ somehow endearing. 

He looks all dry and ready to go home but waves at her enthusiastically. 

“Gou-chan! Waiting for Rin-chan to finish?”

She nods at him as she nibbles off the tip of her snack slowly, not unlike a hamster. Rin gets back on the platform and she watches Nanase do the same (he relented like she knew he would because Rin wouldn’t have stopped hounding him otherwise). Nagisa shoots off a random question just as they dive into the water. Gou doesn’t think of it much and gives a nonchalant answer and is taken aback when Nagisa gasps in surprise.

“Woah! You really don’t want to? What’s up? Are you scared of love, Gou-chan?”

Gou would be outright choking if she had been drinking water. What kind of assumption is that?! All she mentioned was that she doesn’t want to go out and look for her soulmate…so how did he come up with that sort of conclusion?!

“I’m not scared! It’s just that I met someone so great but we weren’t meant to be.”

“A love story?!” he exclaims dramatically. “We’re only eleven!”

Her forehead wrinkles. “Well, aren’t Nanase-senpai and Tachibana-senpai…”

The blond boy waves her away. “Haru-chan and Mako-chan are different. Now tell me, how did you get brokenhearted so young?!”

As reluctant as she is, Gou knows that Nagisa will pester her until she gives in. And so, she sighs and tells her story.

\--

The story starts like this:

Rin pulls people into his orbit without even realizing. Once he grabs on to them, it’s hard for him to let go.

And so, naturally, as the years went on, more and more people would come over to their house to play.

First, it is only Sousuke, sweet but absurdly surly Sousuke. Rin met him in swim club, first grade, and they had been tight ever since. Gou has a hard time remembering most of the ones that followed after. They typically ignore Rin Matsuoka’s younger nine-year old sister who neither swims nor shows any interest in whatever it is fourth-grade boys do in their spare time.

Then one week, amongst the crowd whose noise she has slowly gotten used to, a boy with salmon hair comes into the mix and Gou’s life is subsequently changed.

Kisumi Shigino says ‘hi’ to Gou every time he drops by. He asks her how her day is going and gives her a candy or two whenever he spots her (Rin is convinced that Kisumi gets his supply from some magical wallet). He’s the nicest boy Gou’s ever met and his smile suits his already handsome face so well that every time he beams at her, she’s stunned for a few seconds before she can properly respond.

And that’s why, when Gou puts together all the signs that she has a  _ crush  _ and doesn’t see a string connected to her finger, she is utterly devastated.

Soulmates are a tricky subject. Two or more people tied by a red string that is only visible when the people involved realize they have an undeniable connection with someone else? Sounds like it should hardly work out - and well, it seldom ever does. The chances of finding your soulmate  _ and _ seeing the red thread around your finger is a rare occurrence - but the hopeless romantics aren’t ones to easily give up. 

Gou's tenacity is a marvel, if she does say so herself (she just learned the word last week, thank you very much). Had she not been able to secure herself an extra cake from her big brother just the weekend earlier? Had she not gotten the highest grade the time her notes fell in the water two days before the exam? Her friends insisted that they could just lend her their own and she didn’t have to rewrite them from scratch, but she persevered (only when alone does Gou admit it  _ would _ have been much easier to accept help).

The world doesn’t know _ everything  _ about soulmates. There could be tons of exceptions happening left and right, and people are just unaware! Perhaps the string can only form if Kisumi realizes something on his end, and Gou has to spark that idea in his lovely little head. That decides it then.

She has to confess so that they can affirm their connection.

The perfect opportunity comes when Kisumi, himself, approaches Gou when she’s munching on a cookie as their gang is about to leave.

“Gou-chan, can I speak to you?”

Her eyes widen. With her mouth all full, her cheeks are puffed as she nods enthusiastically at him. She’s aware her face is full of crumbs and she doesn’t look her best, but since Kisumi is  _ surely _ her soulmate, that’s a little detail he shouldn’t care about.

They go to the garden while Rin waves his friends off. He sees them but doesn’t say anything, meaning Kisumi had  _ planned _ this.

Is he going to confess before she does? She hurriedly checks her right pinky, but there’s no shred of red anywhere.

The sunset paints the flowers a harsh orange and almost makes Kisumi intimidating, in contrast to his usual carefree demeanor. He twiddles his fingers as he says, “Gou-chan, I’ve asked Rin about this, but I noticed that you’ve been looking sad these days.”

Well. This is not what Gou expected.

“Sad?” she squeaks.

He nods. “I know that sometimes, your brother doesn’t see anything except for swimming. Is there a problem you can’t tell him about?”

Her mouth tastes like cotton even though the cookies had been from her favourite store in the world. Her chest hurts, but all she does is clench her fist as she chokes out, “I-It’s because it’s not there!”

Kisumi cocks his head. “What’s not there?”

Such simple words, yet, they strike her hard. “The string! I like you, but it’s not there at all!” Her throat closes up.

“Oh.”

The fight leaves her as the silence goes on and she hangs her head as tears threaten to fall. Clenching the skirt of her dress, in a soft voice, she starts, “Maybe if you start to like me too, it’ll start…”

“Gou-chan.”

She doesn’t want to look up but she does. Kisumi always has varied expressions from his giggling over magazines to his shocked face over scary stories.

Gou has never seen this face before.

He’s smiling, but it’s tinged with anything but cheer. “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. Even if the other person doesn’t have feelings for you, you should be able to feel it the moment you  _ know _ .

“Thank you for liking me, Gou-chan. I do think you can like someone regardless of if they’re your soulmate or not, but I only see you as a little sister. I’m sure you’ll meet your soulmate, or just a great person some day. And they will be very lucky to have you.”

And that’s how it ends.

Rin offers to punch Kisumi after he sees her crying, but she stops him. It’s only when she’s lying in her bed later that night, staring at her finger, does it sink in that her chance has been dashed before it even began. Gou resolves herself, with all the stubbornness a nine-year old can muster, to never like another person again. How can she possibly like someone more than a wonderful guy like Kisumi?

\--

Nagisa is uncharacteristically quiet as she finishes. He didn’t even chip in a thought or two while she narrated her past. She’s about to poke his cheek to see if he were still listening when he envelops her in a bear hug.

“N-Nagisa-kun?!”

“Gou-chan.” Nagisa is in a sports jacket and smells like soap but his hair is wet and sticks to her cheek. His hold on her isn’t tight so she could easily push him away, but his high-pitch voice seems to break as he calls her name. “I’m sorry! It must have been horrible! I thought you meant a celebrity or something.”

Her pulse races with the apology, that was somehow more bewildering than his sudden embrace. “It’s alright, I have no hard feelings towards Kisumi-san-”

“I’m never forgetting that name – Kisumi-san-chan, the heartbreaker.” Gou has heard Nagisa sulk before, but never quite like this. She smiles, despite herself.

“That’s sweet of you, Nagisa-kun, but can you let me go?”

“Oh! Right!”

Gou is about to say something when Rin comes stomping up at them. “Hey! Nagisa! What are you doing to Gou?!”

“It’s all friendly!”

When Rin finally calms down and heads off to shower, Nagisa bumps Gou’s shoulder and gives her a small smile. “I think that the right person will make you want to look for them.”

“How would I even know who the right person is?”

He gives her a wicked grin. “Who knows?”

\--

Things aren’t the same after Rin leaves for Australia. Gou loses touch with Rin’s friends and any semblance of swimming being adjacent to her everyday routine is gone. Her brother comes home a few days every year and somehow develops an ever bigger scowl every time she sees him, but other than that, her middle school days are peaceful and unexciting.

In contrast, high school is a wild ride that pulls that rug of tranquility from under her feet.

From her brother’s dramatic comeback to her joining as a swim team’s manager to the mess of the past summerㄧthe stress it brings her is indescribable. It’s all good and resolved now, and even though her brother’s plans to entice Haruka into professional swimming ultimately failed, Rin gets to spend his last year of high school lovey-dovey with Sousuke so he shouldn’t be complaining.

Now, third year is still months away, but with the water getting colder as the seasons change and the viability of using their school pool has come to a halt, Gou decides to shift her priorities to academics.

Her agenda to study with Chigusa fails. 

Said best friend of  _ several _ years has become fully engrossed with her own soulmate, an older girl they met back in middle school. Chigusa’s time is sucked up  _ completely _ . Gou used to envy that Chigusa found her soulmate so young, but now, Gou just misses her. Even though they still spend all the time together in school, they no longer indulge in their shared hobbies that used to be just theirs. 

It sucks, but she has to deal.

To occupy herself, she studies with Nagisa and Rei insteadㄧthe pair fuelled by the motivation of keeping Nagisa in their club after the whole fiasco of him running away from home (and it all happened without Gou knowing!!).

Fortunately, Rei is familiar with most material and has all the resources that they need; unfortunately, Rei sucks at teaching. He gets too technical, and when he starts to talk to Nagisa, clearly  _ purposely _ being silly, Rei gets vexed and strays off topic (she shares the exasperation with Rei, she’s been there after all). It’s up to Gou to keep them on track.

It’s tiresome though. Their current session is full of vocabulary memorization and Gou would gladly trade all these random terms for things that actually matter, namely the different muscles that can be identified in one’s shoulder-

“Gou-chan.”

Will Nagisa ever let her be in peace?

“It’s Kou. KOU MATSUOKA. What is it, Nagisa-kun?”

“Gou-chan.” He really  _ does _ choose to give her grief (even though they hardly fight on anything else). “Is it alright for you to have a picture of some random muscular guy on your phone?” He holds up her phone and sees her home wallpaper staring back at her.

Two pink spots paint her cheeks. “That’s an idol’s selfie from Instablam!”

“Idol?”

“Yes. It’s the K-POP group Star10’s Ice-kun,” she mutters.

“Sanrio?”

“Sta-ri-o,” she dictates, “but it’s written as “Star-10.” She promptly draws a 5-point star with lines intersecting in the air, ending it with the number ‘10’.

He beams at her. “Wah, I never knew you were into K-POP!” It’s something she’s been deep in for a few years, with Chigusa as her only accomplice.

She coughs. “Well, now you do.” Gou reaches her hand towards him, palm facing up. “My phone, Nagisa-kun.”

Nagisa blinks at her hand before the corner of his lips curl up like they do when he gets a wacky idea in his head. “Can we watch? We’re on break right now, aren’t we?”

Breaks are deceptive without any boundaries. Gou is about to say so but Nagisa hits her with his puppy eyes and a tail is basically radiating tail off of him.  _ Well _ , it should be alright considering they only have a few more minutes before their timer goes off, and she’s just doing her role as a fan by promoting her favourites. Gou relents. “Okay, fine. One perf, then we go back to making flash cards.”

Wasting no time, Nagisa calls to their soon-to-be captain, “C’mon, Rei-chan! C’mere! Ooh they’re so stylish!”

Rei sighs, putting his notebook down and raising his glasses. His eyes narrow when he gets a first look but his expression quickly changes to wonder.

“Indeed, their choreography is quite beautiful.” 

Gou won’t deny that pride swells in her that they’re excited. She points to the name of the video. “This is one of their earlier title tracks. It’s based on…”

After five more videos and several failed attempts of Nagisa to copy the dances, Gou realizes she’s been duped.

“Wait a second! We should be studying!” Her phone drops from her hands onto her lap, music video still playing, albeit now muffled.

“We’re studying! The choreo that is.”

“Ah, I’m sorry Gou-san, it seems like I also lost track of time.” Rei at least looks remorseful.

Glancing at the clock, it’s almost dinner time, aka, the boys should get going. Gou exhales. “Well, my brain was getting fried anyway. I guess there’s always tomorrow.”

As she watches the two become further away from her front gate, she thinks that despite her earlier complaints, she did have fun. Gou will have to thank Nagisa for that reprieve.

\--

Lunch, the next day, Nagisa executes the chorus choreography of one of yesterday’s songs flawlessly.

“Hazuki-kun, that was amazing!” Chigusa chimes and Gou nods while clapping.

“I spent all night figuring out how to do the locking motion!” Nagisa preens under the praise.

“Nagisa-kun, I’m happy for you, but don’t forget you have to maintain an average of seventy. You need adequate rest at night.”

“Don’t worry, Rei-chan, I’m still studying properly.” Nagisa turns to Gou, “What other groups do you listen to Gou-chan?”

“It’s ‘Kou’,” she replies automatically. “Well, I also listen to…”

And it goes on like that. Nagisa gets into more and more groups and starts showing off moves when they’re not studying. The dancing strengthens his core and effectively helps his training sessions, and since he keeps up with his grades, neither Gou nor Rei have anything to complain about.

“If I keep dancing like this,”—Nagisa pulls his right hand towards himself—“do you think that I’ll pull my soulmate towards me?”

Rei snorts. “It doesn’t work like that, Nagisa-kun, the string lengthens itself the further you are from each other.”

“So I can’t just tug on them to let them know, huh?” He repeats the motion, but this time, gesturing to Gou. His mischievous tone reels her in, so she plays along.

She extends her hand towards him and jokes, “Maybe they don’t feel the tug because all this time they’ve been reaching out to you.”

Nagisa clasps her hands in his and she gives a small yelp. “Are they finally trying to meet me halfway?”

His smile is too wide and too bright that she bursts into laughter. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

Rei coughs, in a way you know he’s obviously up to something, but will stubbornly never tell you. “I seem to have remembered! I promised my mother to go run an errand today! I must go now!”

Gou spins around. “Eh? So soon?”

“Bye, Rei-chan!”

Well, that’s a tad strange, but if there were a big problem, Rei isn’t the type that could hide it even if he tried.

“Gou-chan.”

She’s pulled back to the fact that their hands are still intertwined. Gou has never really held hands with boys who weren’t her brother, but all she can say is that Nagisa’s are warm. “It’s ‘Kou-chan’. Yes?”

Nagisa’s tone is still playful but there’s a stiffness to it. “Do you still moon over Kisumi-chan-san?”

“I can’t believe you remembered.” Gou blinks. That short chat at the pool had been years ago, though she can’t say she doesn’t think about that bear hug he had given her from time to time.

The tips of his mouth curl up. “I told you I wouldn’t forget.”

“I don’t think so, but I still don’t think I care about looking for my soulmate...” And she doesn’t. She knows soulmates can be happy just like their senpai, but there are people like her parents who met really early and were pulled apart way too soon. There are also people like her brother and Sousuke that don’t care about soulmates and just want to be together. There are others, like Rei, who don’t seem to care much for the concept at all. “I think I’ll be happy as long as whoever I love loves me back and we try to make it work. I guess the soulmate thing would just be a bonus.”

His lack of response reminds her of the emotional embrace from back then. This time, however, his lips just quirk up. He squeezes her hand and says, “Then, whoever you come to love will be very lucky, eh?”

A warmth spreads through her chest and she tightens the grip right back.

\--

Third year starts out quiet, even with the addition of new faces in their club. In the summer, Rei proposes that a get-together will surely bring them all together but if she's honest, Gou is still trying to get over the fact that Ayumu doesn’t like muscles (she respects the difference in taste, but she had been looking forward to a fellow enthusiast).

They end up at an ice cream parlour not too far from school. Amataka-sensei wouldn’t let them use the funds for it (Rei complains she should have because it’s for team bonding) so it’s a pay-for-yourself event. That normally wouldn’t be a problem, but when Gou checks her pocket, she realizes she left her wallet back in the locker room.

“Goodbye, my chocolate…”

Nagisa notices her stop walking. “What’s wrong, Gou-chan?”

It’s embarrassing, but it’s not like she can hide it. She tells him and he starts muttering, with his arms all crossed and his fist to his chin, “I see, I see.” 

He reaches into his bag and brings out his wallet. He presents it with jazz hands and winks at her. “Can’t be helped, why don’t I pay for ya?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s fine! But you have to be the one to line up.” The catch isn’t that bad and before Gou can say anything, he hands her a few bills. “Rocky Road, please!”

The line is only a few people long. The rest of the club members had followed suit and now, Gou has a list of their orders in her phone. 

Her pocket is heavy with the money as she mentally counts the cost.  _ Okay, each regular cup is 300 yen and the larger ones are 450 yen. All in all, that should add up to-  _

“Gou-chan.”

She rolls her eyes. The good thing about Rin being in Sametoka is that when people at Iwatobi say ‘Matsuoka’, she knows it’s her and she doesn’t need to correct people pronouncing her first name (well,  _ except _ Nagisa). And yet, here is another transgressor. 

“My name is ‘Kou’ㄧKisumi-senpai!”

Gou almost drops her phone.

The last time Gou saw Kisumi was Rin’s abrupt farewell party where she spent the whole time avoiding the older boy. Now here he is in the fleshㄧstill with that odd relaxing air about him. “Long time no see!”

“I haven’t seen you since onii-chan transferred to Iwatobi!”

“Seven years, right?”

Has it already been that long? The sudden image of her conversation with Nagisa just a few months ago enters her mind. She pushes the thought away for now. “How are you?”

“I’m studying in Tokyo! Oh, I heard that you know Makoto! We were pals in our middle school days.”

“You were part of the Iwatobi swim team?” Although Kisumi often hung out with Rin and Sousuke back then, he hadn’t been part of the team. Makoto and Haruka had hardly ever talked about middle school, so it’s not strange that she wouldn’t have known about it, but it’s still surprising.

“Nope,” he answers, popping the word. “I was in basketball with Makoto. Oh! And classmates with Haru too! I saw him the other day and he’s still really frown-y.” 

She giggles. That sounds exactly like Haruka. He shifts his gaze for a few seconds and suddenly starts to chuckle. “Well, I just wanted to say ‘hi’. Tell your boyfriend that he has nothing to worry about.”

“Boyfriend?”

“The one with the pink eyes.” 

Nagisa? She whips her head towards her group to what looks like Rei berating Nagisa. It’s not out of place and even though he knows about Kisumi, he wouldn’t know what he looks like, right?

“I could tell from the way he was looking at you on my way here that he really likes you. His glare is more cute than scary though!” Kisumi winks before heading towards a table with a redhead who seemed to have been watching them the entire time.

“Next!” The voice of the cashier brings her out of her thoughts and doesn’t even give her time to process what Kisumi just said.

\--

After Kisumi plants that thought into her mind, it gets stuck and takes over her brain.

Nagisa likes her? Impossibleㄧno wait, maybe not, but- This is Nagisa we’re talking about! They’ve known each other for years so wouldn’t have Gou seen the signs by now if they were there? Kisumi doesn’t even know Nagisa so how can he infer anything from a look? How does Nagisa even look at her anyway?

At the corner of her eye, she glances at him. Their eyes meet for a second and she promptly looks away and chomps on her spoon. There is no way to stare at Nagisa without raising any questions so Gou just inhales her ice cream to avoid arousing suspicion.

Eventually, the team bonding ends. Their group is about to disperse when Nagisa spots an arcade from the parlour and is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, asking people to join him. 

There’s still some time left before dinner so Gou opts in. Just then, a large clap from behind her makes her jump. Rei announces loudly, “Ah! First years! You’ve got to come with me! I need to talk to you about...captain stuff.”

Captain stuff? “Oh, then, we should all-”

“No!” Rei quickly shakes his head while waving his eyes. “I mean, Gou-san, it’s okay! You and Nagisa-kun can go ahead. It’s part of my captain duties to look after the fresh meat, as they would say.” 

No one would say that, but Rei is standing, arms akimbo, looking so proud. There’s a shine in his eyes and Gou can’t bring herself to probe even more. Nagisa doesn’t say anything either except to bid them farewell.

They go through all the attractions there, from the two-player zombie apocalypse shooters to the toy guitar jams to the classic picture booth. Gou is thinking that she can squeeze one last game before going home when Nagisa beckons her over to the crane machine.

It’s filled with Sanrio characters and she spots the penguin she associates with her Star10 bias (as a joke, Nagisa assigned each member a character from the franchise and it had stuck).

“You want Ice-kun, don’t you, Gou-chan?”

“Ah, you don’t have to get him for me.”

“No way! I love a challenge!”

She takes the time to look at him. Hasn’t he always looked at her like that? Is that not how Nagisa looks at everyone? Does that mean he’s liked her for a long time?

Nagisa is one of the most carefree people she knows, but he’s a lot more perceptive and considerate than people give him credit for. Right now, his brow is furrowed and he’s focusing hard on getting her a stuffed penguin, even though everyone knows that crane games are notoriously designed to not let you win.

Even if Nagisa did like her..what then? What does Gou feel? 

“I got him!” Nagisa takes out the stuffed penguin from the machine and presents it to her with both hands. “See! Told you I could do it!”

Gou doesn’t know whether or not she could reciprocate Nagisa’s hypothetical feelings for her. What she does know is that when she takes the toy from him, in her mind, she’s certain that there are few people she trusts more than Nagisa and few people whose smiles make her inexplicably happy.

His hands are within reach but she’s no longer looking at his fingers for any confirmation. If love does bloom between them, it’ll be because they chose it; not because of fate, even if they could very well be soulmates. She’ll take her time to sort out these feelings, but desperation and fear of rejection will no longer drive her.

“Thank you, Nagisa-kun. I’m glad I met you.”

He arches his eyebrow. “Eh? Because I got you Ice-kun?”

She shakes her head and grins. “Because you’re you, silly.” And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> twt: [meclanitea]()


End file.
